hesitation
/ˌhezəˈtāSH(ə)n/
noun
1. the words in your throat die at your tongue. syllables itching at the roof of your mouth, begging for release. your fingers tremble whenever you put your pen down; black ink seeps into the space of your blank paper. no letters are on the page but you’ve stained it. you think it would’ve had the same outcome even if you wrote your heart down.
2. butterflies in your stomach; flowers in your lungs. your heart vigorously throbs against your ribcage, it wants to escape. instead, you chain it down to the darkest parts of your chest and hide it away. (maybe it's called a cage for a reason)
3. overachiever. you’ve perfected things before you could even remember learning them. the process, for you, goes like this: you do it well, or you don’t at all. you’ve built up walls around you and you don’t try. you end things before you can even start them—why risk it for the result of failure when you can bask in the comfortableness of the walls you’ve inevitably trapped yourself in?
Published by: Lloyd Agbulos
Date published: April 06, 2022
Time published: 12:25 PM
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