𝗖𝗢𝗟𝗨𝗠𝗡: “Buy-lentine’s Day” by Reniza Manalaysay

 

Published by: Akira Joy Gabion 

Date Published: February 14, 2024

Time Published: 7:02 PM

Hating Valentine’s has nothing to do with the fact that I am single but more so on the fact that it’s a mirror of what is important for us as a society. A day that should have been filled with cozy blankets and significant trinkets, transformed into a feast where big companies shove their overpriced flowers in exchange for satisfying the expectations from the society. Valentine’s is cute as the shelves fill up with hearts and flowers but it should be celebrated without needing to burn holes in your pants, right in your pockets.

Valentine’s day is believed to have originally been a Pagan holiday where men whipped their wives with hides of dead animals in hopes of increasing fertility [1]. To Christians, St. Valentine is the one martyr who single-handedly created its existence by defying the law and marrying young Christian couples [2]. It is pretty ironic how a holiday viewed with rose-tinted glasses in modern times originated from dark stories that showed different sides of love. Its commercialization started when Esther Howland pioneered the mass-selling of greeting cards, an action that would lead to the major adaptations of companies in years to come [3]

Marilyn Monroe’s iconic line "Diamonds are a girl’s best friend” is a very enticing statement that summarizes the ideal beauty of giving, yet hides the ugliness of consumerism. It is certainly fulfilling to love and express how you feel, hence the existence of the day of love as we know it. But throughout the ever-changing expectations, did it lose its meaning? Probably not, but it did paint an image that you aren’t to show love unless the gift is shining; unless the pressure deems it as a ‘genuine depiction of what you truly feel’. It has become so commercialized to the point that it has deviated from its purpose of showcasing individual love by buying mass-released gifts decorated with pink hearts.

In 2021, studies show that Filipino spend P1,421 on Valentine’s gifts alone [4]. Considering that Filipino earn P841.61 a day on average the same year, gifts on Valentine's day are usually at the expense of about two days of work. Two days worth of salary that could’ve been put into smaller, more significant gifts, are spent on products with literally the same content except in red and sold for twice as much. Interestingly, with all of the rise in sales of flowers and fresh fruits, local farmers earn less because of the oversaturation in the market brought by bigger companies. Fox Business named the top five gifts that Americans are expected to buy including flowers, clothes, candy, cards, and jewelry, yet all the companies mentioned are operating under multi-million dollar companies [5].

Valentine’s day is commercialized, and so is the rest of the holidays all year round. Couples, especially men, are expected to showcase only the ‘romantic’ kind of love that is often advertised for people to buy. Dr. Fader stated that this expectation causes harm in the relationship when such expectations are not met [6]. In today’s time where everyone is tied to social media, the expectation to ‘one-up’ other couples and the desire to seek validation from others can result in the neglection of our own happiness. The pressure to do things right for that one single day blinds us from celebrating the raw, unfiltered, and unique form of love.

There is certainly nothing wrong with spending money on Valentine’s day, especially if it is for your special someone. If buying an expensive diamond using a week worth of salary is how you prefer to show your love, then that should be fine. However I fail to understand why we, as a society, feel the need to constantly show that we got the better ring and shinier rock when at the end of the day, all gifts should only have one meaning to relay—I love you.

Not wanting to celebrate Valentine’s does not make you a hater when everyday's the day of the love for you anyway. Love comes in all shapes and sizes but it doesn’t have to be expensive and exclusive. Love should be free and liberating where you don't have to feel the obligation to perform the way you’re expected. Instead of lavishly preparing for an annual day all the time, every single day of the year should be a steady stream of affirmation and gratitude for the different kinds of affection that we receive. No gold roses, no big rings. Just a pure and mindful expression of how you feel.

References:

[1] National Geographic. (n.d.). Valentine's Day wasn't always about love. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/article/saint-st-valentines-day#:~:text=The%20earliest%20possible%20origin%20story,sacrifice%20a%20goat%20and%20dog.

[2] Britannica. (2024, February 10). Valentine’s day. https://www.britannica.com/topic/Valentines-Day

[3] Gooden, T. (2024, February 13). The murky history (and clear commercialization) of Valentine's day. 𝘕𝘦𝘳𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘵. https://nerdist.com/article/valentines-day-history-origins-in-lupercalia-saint-valentines-path-to-love-letters-and-mass-commercialization/

[4] Baclig, C.E. (2023, February 24). The economics of Valentine’s Day: spending out of love. 𝘐𝘯𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘳 𝘕𝘦𝘵. https://newsinfo.inquirer.net/1729789/the-economics-of-valentines-day-spending-out-of-love#:~:text=The%20website%20also%20found%20that,on%20Valentine's%20gifts%20in%202021.

[5] Scipioni, J., & Messier, A. (2023, February 14). Chocolate, flowers, jewelry and more, this is what Americans are gifting for Valentine's Day. 𝘍𝘰𝘹 𝘉𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴. https://www.foxbusiness.com/features/valentines-day-businesses-companies-profit-love

[6] Fader, J. (2015, March 27). How Valentine's day is ruining relationships. 𝘗𝘴𝘺𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘺 𝘛𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-new-you/201503/how-valentines-day-is-ruining-relationships