Layout by: Louise Gabryael Quijano
Published by: Christine Mae Karunungan
Date Published: October 4, 2024
Time Published: 10:43 AM
Category: Prose
Subject: Mourning the loss of your inner child.
Dear 7 year old me, I haven't seen that smile in nearly 11 years now.
I know better than to lecture myself at that age, I know very well that you will just forget about it the moment you step outside, basking in the sunlight, sweating your butt off while playing. Everything just seems to slip by you, doesn't it?
I miss being a child. Not because I want to live a life with no worries and responsibilities— I only miss being able to smile wholeheartedly.
Though I may not remember anything from my childhood as clearly as I would want— The pictures show me stories— Stories I can understand even without the words. Those stories tell me that I was once truly happy.
Even for a fleeting moment, I smiled. I smiled so genuinely at the camera.
The pure joy in the pearly whites displayed in a single photo, truly incomparable to any other smile I have ever shown at this age.
The blissful ignorance of a child is a wonderful thing indeed.
A smile so pure, even the angels mistake for the holy light. None can contend with the sheer happiness of a little girl who's been allowed by her father to buy a new toy. It's as if she's been given a new purpose in life, like she's been saved— but really, it's just a toy given to her.
She knows nothing of the perils and mountains awaiting her in her journey. She knows nothing of the monsters that live inside her, deep inside her heart— the monsters that will eat her alive when she does something wrong in 7th grade or when her grade is lower than 90 in the 12th. The monsters that will drive her to her limit and force her to push away her friends and family. Even though those monsters have not surfaced yet, I vow to protect that little girl.
I promise to protect you better this time, 7 year old me.
IMAGE SOURCES:
Creative Market. (2016, Nov 21). Side view of a sad pensive woman. Pinterest. https://pin.it/22K4ZCrut
Signitem. (2024). Children Playing Joyfully at the Playground. Freepik. https://images.app.goo.gl/9Utk3vmWo7wCUCGQA
Suradech14. (2017, Nov 21). Brown envelope isolate on white background stock photo. iStock. https://images.app.goo.gl/g5tsLoW7xyz9YG4S8
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