𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗔𝗥𝗬: “It Was Easier with You” by Frans Danielle R. Castillo

 

 Published by: Christine Mae Karunungan

 Date Published: April 4, 2025

 Time Published: 3:25 PM

Category: Prose

Theme: Not wanting to try again with someone new.

I don’t understand how some people find it easy to be with someone new after not working it out with their past lover. I don’t get how it’s easy for them to introduce themselves over and over again. Telling the new person their favorite color, their favorite food, their interests—only for them to not last long.

I can’t imagine that I’ll be in that kind of position. I can’t imagine myself sharing my deepest secrets and expect them not to be scared away. Admitting my mistakes and thinking that they will still accept me nevertheless. Showing my vulnerability without silently begging that they will stay by my side. 

I could never handle the idea of undressing myself for someone new.

They would never understand. They wouldn't understand like you do. It’s different with you. It was easier with you.

It was easier to tell you my secrets because it never scared you away; you thought of it as a way to know me more. It was easier to admit my mistakes because you never failed to assure me that it’s okay. It was never hard to show you my vulnerability because you’re always there to wrap your arms around me as you constantly whisper that it will be alright.

You helped me undress the bad parts that I was too scared to show to anyone. From the way I cry about every minor inconvenience I have. The way I tend to walk away for a while whenever I feel that something's off. The way I aggressively handle things because it is what I was taught to be. But in the end, you're still there, quietly standing behind me as you patiently wait for me to come run to you.

So no, I could never handle the idea of allowing someone new to know me. If it’s not you, then I’d rather be alone.