𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗔𝗥𝗬: “Let the Ache Bear My Name” by Hayden Jam Recto

 

 

Cartoon by: Kirk Roxel Arguta

Published by: Jeralaine G. Larios

 Date Published: July 30, 2025

Time Published: 1:13 PM

Category: Poetry 

Subject: Unintentional Betrayal and Self-Realization

I didn’t intend to lacerate you—

But my hands drip crimson guilt.

You stood there, unguarded,

and I fractured you.

without ever wielding a blade.

I mistook restraint for mercy.

I masked cowardice as compassion.

fed you half-truths,

then called it preservation.

I cloaked my fear in tenderness.

and wrapped silence

around a ticking fault line.

But I see now—

how every soft-footed step I took

sent tremors through your ribs.

I see it in the way

Your eyes ghost through me.

as if I’m nothing more

than a smudged reflection

in a mirror you regret keeping.

You reached out, wanting clarity—

I handed you riddles.

You asked for truth—

I gave it in shattered fragments.

fearing its full form

might reveal what I was too ashamed to face.

You offered sanctuary.

I fled.

You offered light.

I dimmed it.

calling it “too much”

when it only illuminated

everything I tried to bury.

I won’t beg for absolution.

I know the architecture of ruin

too intimately now.

I won’t pretend I wasn’t

the architect of yours.

Maybe I wasn’t born the villain—

but I became it.

in the hollow places between my choices.

In the echoes of things I never said.

In the warmth I withheld

when you needed fire.

So if you need a name

for your ache—let it be mine.

Not for redemption,

but because guilt

has already carved me hollow,

and wearing this name

feels like the only truth

I have left.