In sixth grade, I had a crush on someone. Someone who was out of my league. Smart, sporty, kind, confident, and good-looking. I had always felt that we were the actual representation of Heaven and Earth, day and night, or those people living from a different universe that I read about once or twice in my life. Not until I found him walking towards me, a bouquet of red roses in his hands. He looked straight, staring deep into my eyes.
I was stuck
on the ground. It was as if I was one of those girls in romance movies that I
watched over and over. Time slowed and I could feel the bitterness in my mouth,
twirling on my tongue. I dressed up today, as he wanted. Make-up, a flowy red
dress, and a pair of sickening heels made me feel as if I was walking with
blades beneath my feet. But I still wore those, because he liked girls like
that.
Now I didn’t
even know how I ended up sitting side by side with a guy whom I didn’t talk to
at school. The jock whose existence I couldn’t tolerate. The smoke emitting from
his cigar wafted in the air, giving a bit of eerie and misty feeling to it.
“You’re
pathetic,” the first thing he said to me as I sat down on the ground, hugging
my knees while I threw the heels somewhere. “I know,” I whispered. My whole
being knew that. I pathetically chased a man who only dated me for a dare. It
was as if an angel came down only to show its true form. A devil.
“It’s my
turn now, is it?” I looked at him. Seeing him simper while holding the coffin
nail somehow made me stare at him. Lost in his engrossing appearance. “What?” I
asked, maybe after a matter of minutes that I’d been gawking at him. He looked
down at me since he was standing. “It’s my turn,” he declared, sitting down and
leaning on the wall as his arms rest on his knees. As he focused on me. Never
leaving my face. His smirk turned into a smile that made my heartbeat thump
faster.
“It’s my
turn now. My turn to cherish you, spoil you…love you.” Speechless. I was
speechless. My mind wandered to somewhere else. Was he playing with me? “Cole,”
I warned. “He never spoiled me.”
“Yeah,
that’s why I will.”
“Enough. You
know I can’t, you dimbo.”
“And you
know I don’t care.” What part of everything I just told him does he not
understand?! I just broke up with my long-term crush and he—
“I love you,
I love you, I love you. If life means living with you forever then I’ll live
for you.” My mind shut down and only his voice rang inside. “Unlike him, you
can shout at me if you want. I know you have your own opinions and I saw how he
oppressed those. His fault was not seeing how attractive you are being mad.” He
shrugged.” I gave him a chance to be with you. A chance he stole from me even
when he’s aware of how I feel. Now can I have my chance?”
I couldn’t
answer. His eyes looked at me, pleading. Though his face remained serious, his
eyes were speaking…shouting enough with the things he wanted to say.
“No.”
It was true
that I was ignorantly blind from the love I had with Ethan. I was blinded too
much that I never get to see the things surrounding me.
Taking one
last look in the mirror, a nervous smile came up. I wore my favorite sweater,
jeans, and Nike shoes. I looked plain. Like a white boring wall. Once I stepped
down, I saw Cole at the end of the staircase. Mouth gaping while he smiled
lightly. His eyes which could see all your fears, which were full of darkness
before, shined. “How do I look?” I asked, averting my gaze due to my
uncontrollable restlessness. My chest tightened, threatening me that it could
get destroyed the moment he disapproved. But that dispersed the moment he
spoke.
“Perfect,”
he muttered. I was able to hear it as I walked towards him.
“Gorgeous…breathtaking. A vintage painting that beats Leonardo da Vinci’s Mona
Lisa,” he continued. It made me stop. I could feel my cheeks burn. Who knew he
could talk like that?
I was dumb
enough to be swayed by lies. At least now, I didn’t have to pretend. Now, I
could be who I really was. Be comfortable and confident of what I had. He came
at a time when I was scared to love again because I was fooled. I could be
proud and free this time. All because of him.
Photo:
Grafolio.naver
Published by: Lloyd Agbulos
Date published: February 14, 2022
Time published: 10:07 AM
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