LITERARY: "Women Have No Rage (Women Must Keep It Hidden)" by Samantha Apalit

Published by: April R. Despi

Date Published: April 5, 2022

Time Published: 2:25 PM

Category: Poetry

Theme: Womanhood, Anger

Synopsis: In this world full of centuries of angry men, where do women find their place? Or rather, what is this place society has boxed and forced us into? 

How cruel it is

to have your womanhood

defined by your unconditional gentleness

despite the abundance of hostility.

But this anger,

all this anger—

Where do I put all this anger?

Oh, how I've longed for it.

I whisper to the tiny gods under my fingernails.

Oh, how I've longed to be as miserable,

to be as disastrous,

to be a monster.

 

I want to be unhinged.

I don't mean it,

but I want to be terrible.

 

I want to etch the same scars

the world has given me.

I want to leave scratch marks

on everything that has hurt me.

 

But instead, I cover my face

with dirty bedsheets.

I clutch my chest,

my fingernails leaving tiny scars

against my skin.

(Perhaps the gods are refusing.)

 

I do not speak up.

I do not even try.

 

This is the universal truth of being a woman.

 

Silence your voice.

Keep their peace,

and stain yours.

"It will make things worse."

This is a story women have read before.

This is a story women know by heart.

This is the story of a woman.

Generations' worth of fate

are woven into my body,

within the thread of my veins,

binding my heart with this emptiness,

with this hesitation,

with its only purpose

for pumping blood

is to reinstate a reminder:

You are here to love.

You can only love.

You are made for compassion.

This is what it means to be a woman.

This is what it means to be a woman,

and this is inevitable.

All you can do is cover your ears,

let your tears roll down your face,

and tell yourself repeatedly,

making it become less like a mantra,

and more like a prayer:

𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳'𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦.

𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳'𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦.

𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳'𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦.