Published by Gabrielle Vergara
Date Published: April 14, 2023
Time Published: 3:03 PM
Category: Prose
Theme: The art of letting go
Synopsis: After five years of being together, Chale and Neo decided to take their separate ways.
I always wanted to reach an anniversary in a relationship. I wanted to know what it felt like to be truly loved by someone even though years have passed. If I would experience that, I wanted it to be happy and colorful. I wanted to celebrate it with someone whom I saw as my partner; my husband.
And I didn’t expect that I would experience it.
“Happy 5th Anniversary, Love!”
But not all imaginations could turn into reality.
Neo and I would be having our fifth anniversary on March 23. We'd been together since Junior High and I knew from the very start that he would be my partner for the rest of my life. He was the best boyfriend I ever had. We never fought, he treated me like a princess, and he loved me truly and genuinely.
Still, we decided to take a break.
In our fourth year, I told Neo that I felt that we weren’t growing independently and we— as a couple—were not working anymore. He didn’t feel that way. So we decided to let it be and see if we could still work.
We didn’t.
After our fourth year, we talked about breaking up right after our fifth anniversary if we didn’t work out. At first, we were crying but as time went by we were just enjoying the remaining time together.
It was now February. A month before our fifth anniversary and...our breakup.
I told my first group of friends about our plan. It was hard for me to tell. I felt a deep pang in my chest as I cried on the shoulder of my friend.
Now, as I told the plan to my other friends, I didn't feel anything. My heart was at peace, my mind was working well, and I was fine. Maybe...just maybe…. I was ready to accept the fact that we were not meant to be.
Except, I knew it was just a maybe.
A week before our anniversary, everything starts to make sense.
Were we really doing this? Were we ready for this?
Was I ready for this?
No.
But it was for us and I didn’t want to be selfish. I wanted him to be independent, to grow, and be happy… even without me.
A day before our anniversary. I was on my way to his house since we were celebrating our anniversary near his place. I looked outside the jeepney, feeling the cold air on my face. I looked at the box that I was holding with care; my last gift to him. I closed my eyes and recalled where we started.
March 23, our anniversary.
We decided to have a picnic date. It was perfect.
We bought our favorite foods and drinks, we took many pictures, and we talked and talked and talked until there was nothing more to talk about. I looked at him for a long time, memorizing his features.
I wish I could look at it again.
“Look at the sunset, Chale!” he exclaimed.
The day is ending. “The sunset is beautiful isn’t it?” I asked with a sad smile. He gazed at me with sadness in his eyes but immediately smiled. “Yes,” he said, nodding.
I sighed and sat properly. He again looked at me but his focus went straight to my hands. He smiled and held my hand.
We stayed like that for a few minutes until we decided to go home since it was getting late.
“We’re here!”
“Oh! You two are back!” Neo’s mother greeted us with a hug. “Chale, here’s a present for you. Thank you for taking care of our son,” Neo’s father handed me a paper bag.
I almost forgot.
I said thank you to his father and immediately rummaged through my bag. How could I forget my gift for Neo? “We’ll go to our room now. Visit us often, Chale! Take care on your way home!”
I didn’t answer. I smiled and waved my hand.
“I have something for you.” It was almost a whisper. I was shaking while handing him the small box.
He opened the box containing two rings for the both of us. I looked away when I saw a tear drop from his eyes.
He took my hand and slipped the ring on my ring finger. He wore him on his pointing finger.
“I will find you and marry you,” he said and held my hand.
I smiled.
I hope so.
I took a deep breath and finally did what we talked about. “Maybe in another lifetime, Neo,” I said as I let go of his hand that was still trying to hold on. I smiled at him signaling that everything will be okay. Everything will be alright in time.
I took my belongings and went outside his house.
“Chale?” I stopped walking. I couldn’t turn.
“For the last time, Chale...I love you,” was the last words I heard from him.
No one cheated, we didn’t fall out of love, it wasn’t a one-sided love, we didn’t get tired of each other… it was just us not growing individually together. It was just us who wanted to make the other person their best version. It was just us...who wanted the best for each other.
I wiped my tears as they fell.
“Happy Anniversary,” I whispered into the thin air.
It was, indeed, a bittersweet goodbye.
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