𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗔𝗥𝗬: "Sometimes I Still Dream of My Parents Loving Me" by Samantha Apalit

Published by: Angel Monique Candelaria 

Date published: April 13, 2023

Time published: 2:55 PM

 Category: Poetry

Theme: Queer Struggles

I have never been accepted, really–

simply tolerated.

The change my mother allowed herself

to accept was always less:

𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘺 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥,

and more:

𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘩𝘦𝘳, 𝘴𝘰.

It could never be:

𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶

𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶;

because it was always:

𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘰 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦, 𝘥𝘰 𝘐?

But the thing is–

She does have a choice.

It's been 2 years and she's always had a choice.

The real thing is–

I was never worth that choice;

I was never worth that change.