𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗔𝗥𝗬: "To Flee from an Unwanted Chain" by Ace Erasmus Yambot

Layout by: Samantha Kier Olazo

 

Published by: Simoun Jarred Erpilo

Date Published: November 17, 2023

Time Published: 10:14 AM

Category: Reflective Essay

Theme: Freeing from the grasp of academic pressure

When my family and I went hiking at Mt. Pulag in Benguet once, it was already noon when we started out. Around 18:30, with our knees quivering from the frigid breeze and our lungs gasping for air from exhaustion, we finally made it to the summit of the mountain. I found my supine body on the soft grass while looking up at the pitch-black sky filled with dazzling stars when I noticed the Ursa Major constellation. At first, I thought it might not be the constellation of Ursa Major, but after giving it a second glance, I realized it was the constellation I had been hoping to see my entire life. As I was admiring the beauty of the stars, an unexpected thought suddenly appeared in my head; the stars are beyond my reach.

My family was discussing academic achievements when I overheard them. I heard my name being mentioned—I was startled. I waited for about a minute before joining. I discovered that they had been secretly anticipating me to receive this accreditation when my eldest sister said that I needed to get the "Highest Honor". I concluded that, like the stars, those achievements were just out of my reach. My relatives stated that I had to be ranked as the Top One student in my class all the time. Though, I told myself that I couldn't do it. Being under academic pressure made it too difficult for me to fulfill those goals.

I wasn’t sure what else was going through their heads, but I wouldn't give it any more thought. I stopped worrying about their incredibly high expectations as soon as I realized that they were just forcing me to achieve and retain a high rank.

𝗚𝗿𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘂𝗽 𝗮𝘀 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝗰𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗰 𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿, 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗮 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮 𝘁𝗼𝗽 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁, 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻 𝗵𝗶𝗴𝗵 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻'𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗲𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝗼𝗿 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗱𝗲𝘀. 

My family has a long lineage of high academic achievers, so I suppose that's one of the reasons they wanted me to do well in school. To continue the run of academic success and excellence of our family, that was all the reasoning they needed.

I excelled academically ever since I entered the Daycare Center, my first school. When I was in first grade, I was ranked second in our class. That's how it all began. To please them, I had been keeping my grades high. I realized that I had been carrying this burden for a very long time. I've been under a lot of stress without noticing how it was affecting my mental health. Trying to live up to their expectations and bearing the burden made me feel pressured. Additionally, I've seen top students frequently be under that pressure. They were under pressure to maintain and keep their marks high because they didn’t want people to think they were bad at academics.

I was the Top Two of our class in the seventh grade, turning me to become more intelligent and active in the eighth grade, and resulted in becoming the Top One and best student in the tenth grade. I consistently received honors each quarter. I also participated in various events; the science quiz bee in which I won, and the math quiz bee in which I also triumphed. I realized while I was in the ninth grade that when I moved through junior high school, I became academically intelligent and accrued more certificates or achievements.

I'm aware that some families out there mistreat their helpless kids this way without realizing how badly it affects the kids' mental health. Due to pressure and attempts to live up to their family's expectations, this may also be a roadblock to the success of their children. Parents shouldn't force their children into this unpleasant situation since certain young people are mute and don't talk when they are stressed or under pressure.

𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗼𝗯𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗿 𝗱𝘂𝘁𝘆 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝘀𝗻'𝘁.

We don't discuss issues and resolve them in our home, particularly in situations that involve school matters. When I once opened up to them, they just responded by saying that I was overreacting, as if my feelings weren't real and valid. As I grew, I started to be silent and I've been keeping a lot of problems to myself.

I don't have to feel forced to achieve something anymore; I am free to do whatever I choose. I realized that I shouldn't try to please them. I need to break and end the stigma that has been infecting my family's and relatives' brains. I also concluded that I am allowed to be the first one in my family to do things differently. I wasn't supposed to act like I didn't need help when I desperately needed one. I shouldn't be afraid to be upfront with them, especially when I'm under pressure.

𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘃𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗱. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻’𝘁 𝗲𝘅𝗮𝗴𝗴𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗲𝗹𝘀𝗲’𝘀 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗮𝗹. 𝗬𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝗵𝘂𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴. 𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆.

As a human, we are unable to refrain from passing judgment. However, to avoid hurting people, we need to set boundaries. Let’s just keep our thoughts to ourselves if we don't have anything great to say. We need to erase the stigma and stop stereotyping people. Just because he or she is an academic achiever, doesn't mean he or she isn't supposed to fail. Lastly, we must try to be open, particularly when we require assistance or a listening ear and open arms. Always keep in mind that it's okay to be vulnerable. We shouldn't keep all of our problems to ourselves, because sharing our struggles or stories with others might help to alleviate the agony we experience and feel.