Published by: Katrina Sophia S. Eustaquio
Date Published: November 20, 2023
Time Published: 6:57 AM
Category: Poetry
Subject: Cheating, Gaslighting, Manipulation
Long story short;
She loved him too much,
he took her for granted
loved him at his downs,
l e f t h e r f o r a n o t h e r g i r l.”
I slid into a teary-eyed slumber as waves and waves of ache stormed my heart, I am starting to realize it.
You were not just a memory;
You were a living, breathing part of my life.
But—how can I love someone who always seeked another girl's heart?
Why I am suffering with all the wounds you've left,
While you're enjoying another woman's warmth?
How can you say “You're the only girl I love”
And still do something behind my back?
W h e r e d i d y o u g e t t h e g u t ?
All I want is to make you feel loved,
Is this the cost of trying to make you feel safe?
I was hurt, raw from the unfairness, In those difficult times, it felt as if healing was impossible,
An unattainable sanctuary from the storm within.
Our memories are getting vague, but I wouldn't lie—
I can still remember that morning, at 10:11 am.
When I confronted you—
and you blamed me for finding it out—
said that I brought it upon myself, how?
I covered my mouth and endured
The tightness I felt inside my throat,
Those words were enough to take away my right to breathe.
W h y w e r e y o u b l a m i n g m e ?
A question that lingered in my mind.
I wanted to scream but at the same time,
I didn't want them to hear,
I wanted an apology before letting you go—
But even asking for it seems too much.
Because no matter how painful it might get,
You are still the only person I will run—
I will seek for you just to survive.
That's how much you meant to me—
But even staying feels like betraying me.
I forced myself into this madness,
Manipulating my own mind into thinking that
You will reach there, that our story will prevail.
You blamed me for knowing what you were doing,
You have no idea how much I prayed to god after figuring out everything you've done.
I wish I didn't, I wish you didn't do it but you did,
It breaks my heart so much, I remember it all.
When I was crying in front of you, trying to fix us,
I was comforting you and crying while you are defending another girl in front of me.
W h y a r e y o u d e f e n d i n g h e r ?
That betrayal has already been engraved in my heart,
I will never forget it, but I forgive you.
With all my heart, please never come back.
IMAGE SOURCE:
Manovens. (n.d.). Muchacha dormida sobre la hierba. https://www.artnet.com/artists/francisco-masriera-manovens/muchacha-dormida-sobre-la-hierba-jFG675EabQotJpUGt17Z9Q2
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