𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗔𝗥𝗬: “Wandering” by Jessie Claire Gozun

 

Layout by: Jessie Claire Gozun

Published by: John Kurt Gabriel Reyes 

Date Published: May 20, 2023

Time Published: 3:00 PM

Category: Prose 

Theme: Waiting for someone you love.

“𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘦?”

Three words and a question mark. It’s an easy question—quite simple, really—but why are you having such a hard time answering? It’s been months and I still ask the same thing. I wonder what goes on in your head whenever I ask. I’m no mind reader and you’re just someone who caught my heart. 

“𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘴𝘬?” you question me instead. Why? I tell you again and again. “‘𝘊𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘪’𝘮 𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴.”, I mutter. I’m always curious about you, yet you laugh at me for being so. I don’t understand why. I know you but you tell me otherwise. I know what you tell your friends; you tell how we’re just friends, best of friends. They know better than to believe your word though. They know who you are, and I do too, even if you think otherwise. 

My friends think of me as a fool, for hanging onto you, for still believing that we could be something more. But what do they know? All they have are their infatuations masked as love. They don’t understand what we have. Our relationship is different, it’s special. 

I’m serious about you, and you know I mean it—I know you truly do. I’ve opened up all of my heart to you, you know? But why can’t you do the same? Am I not enough for you? Is something wrong? Is something wrong with me? I have so many questions, I know you won't answer but can you at least hear me out? 

But you don’t hear a thing. You ask me to repeat. I chuckle, ruffling your hair as you glare at me.

I want to know what you really think of me if—we even feel the same way. Maybe one day you’ll let me know, I really hope so. I’ll continue waiting for that special day when your answer finally changes. But for now, I’ll have to settle with the same three words. Three words that keep me wandering. 

“𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸.”

IMAGE SOURCE:

Waiting for the train at Union Station, c.1960, Chicago. | Train, Old photos, Union station. (n.d.). Pinterest. Retrieved May 2, 2024, from https://www.pinterest.ph/pin/448811919096151979/