π§πππ π: The emotional drain of dealing with peers that are self-unaware egoists.
Why are there people who don't understand that they're the problem?
There is something so infuriating about people who walk around like they're the victims of every situation, when in reality, they're the same storm they complain about. You know the type: the people who never reflect, the ones who always find other people to blame, the ones who drain the energy out of everyone in the room but insist you're overreacting, the ones who refuse to believe they're the problem. It's exhausting, really. And it leaves me asking myself multiple times: why are there people who don't understand that they're the problem?
The red flags will always be there. At first, they can be small and brushed off as quirks or habits they've gotten used to. Maybe they'll sometimes make jokes that stung a little too sharply, or they always need to one-up every story you share and turn the spotlight to them; they just start stacking up more aggressively until they get impossible to ignore. It makes me think that suddenly, I'm probably sitting across from a person who doesn't feel like someone important in my life, but more like someone who constantly tests my patience instead.
Don't even forget the lack of accountability. When they mess up, they lash out and pick fights over things that never should've been arguments in the first place. Then they somehow twist the story until they're the "victim." They will argue with you even when it's painfully obvious that they were the one in the wrong, as if gaslighting you into submitting to them to make their conscience quieter. And when you try to confront them about it, they either get defensive or act like you're overanalyzing.
Well, we can always say that growth is never impossible. People can change if they want to, especially if they care enough about the relationships they're destroying. But they ignore any chances of growth. They'd rather stay stuck in the same loop because of their pride. They'd rather play the victim than admit their flaws. And of course, they'd rather push people away than swallow their pride and say, "Sorry, it was my fault." Isn't that pathetic? Yet here they are, still the same selfish, inconsiderate person you met at the beginning, maybe even worse.
And honestly, being around someone like that feels very suffocating. It's like having this toxic cloud hovering over you all the time. You find yourself calculating your words and biting your tongue just to avoid unnecessary drama. You adjust yourself and shrink down because the simplest version of honesty might throw them off like always. It's become like you're taking care of a child—heck, a child might act more mature than that, anyway. And the irony is, they'll probably complain that you've changed and you're not the usual tolerant friend anymore, when in reality, you've just gotten tired of pretending their behaviour is acceptable.
The saddest part is, I still try. I give patience and understanding, even countless chances that's more than they deserve. But at some point, giving starts to feel like begging. For respect and consideration of having a natural friendship. And that's when the disappointment really sinks in, when you realize you've been investing in someone who refuses to meet you halfway.
And still, the question nags at me all the time: why are there people who don't understand that they're the problem? Maybe because it's easier to keep playing the victim card than to face the truth? Maybe because pride is more comfortable than growth? Or maybe they could also be wrapped up in their own ego that they can't even imagine a world where they're not the hero of their own story? I don't know. Whatever the reason, the weight of the damage they give shouldn't be mine to carry. It's not even my job to fix them nor is it my responsibility to drag them toward self-awareness they refuse to reach. Now, my only job is to protect my sanity and walk away whenever I feel disrespected. And maybe one day, they'll wake up and realize they were the problem all along. But by then, I'll be long gone, and honestly? I'll be better for it.
Published by: Jigger Von Malenab
Published : October 3 , 2025
Time : 6:24 pm
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