LITERARY:"ANOTHER YOU"

By: Alyssa Mae N. Castro

My little heart thumped from the moment I saw you.

I was unable to listen, so I stared at you instead.

Hundred pairs of eyes, and mine saw you very differently.

What a childish feeling this was towards you.

I tried to divert my attention

To stop myself from admiring you.

I focused on non-sensible things,

And secretly looked for people to give admiration to.

I was unable to find anyone who was more admirable than you.

And only then, I realized.

I was not really looking at them.

I was just looking for another you.

Something unevenly drew you closer to me.

Just then, the Heavens seemed to be playing with us.

You came as if we were in a fairy tale,

And said the words I was longing to hear.

You have shown your good things,

But I liked your bad things more.

Your beauty was irresistible.

You were unavoidable.

A king who was always there for his queen,

That was how you made me feel.

You uplifted me every time I was feeling down,

And gave me the love I could not give to myself.

We had our own world every time our eyes meet.

Everything seemed everlasting and complete.

We forgot how different we were from other people’s perspective.

We knew it was wrong, yet it did feel right.

The day came when our own world fell apart.

Your actions defined how far you wanted to be away from me.

As if I were a contagious pain to you.

You showed no emotions at all, but your eyes said otherwise.

Confused and full of doubt,

I decided to show you more of myself.

And I knew I was to blame,

When you still chose to hide the rest of yours.

Your excuse must be deeper than imaginable.

You left me hanging high,

When you were supposed to be the plane

That would have helped me land back on the ground.

Hopeless and desperate,

I selfishly prayed for you.

Another you who would have loved me just the same.

But things did not go the way I wanted them to.

Years went by.

Tears proved how painful it was to lose you.

Played by the destiny, I let go of someone

Who was not even once meant for me.

We have chosen to go with the society’s flow,

While being imprisoned in our own fairytale.

If we were really meant to be,

Then destiny would have already found its own way.

It was never easy to go after someone

Who chose to distance himself from me.

I did not regret that I was unable to say I loved you,

For maybe I was never meant to say it back to you.

People might have made you believe

That loving was a bad thing.

You have listened to what they had to say,

Without hearing how loud my sadness was shouting.

The strength of your teaching voice was replaced.

An intense silence was all that was left.

The aftermath was much harder,

For I chose to love you still, my math teacher.