"Why"
By: Aaliyah Van T. Pineda
SLIGHT TRIGGER WARNING
Gunshots were being fired as smoke continued to fill the air. The screams and yells of my fellow soldiers continued to echo through the field. On my left, the enemy I killed swam on his own blood, the ground was unpleasant to see and was filled with casualties.
Some bodies belonged to my comrades, some belonged to our enemies whom I felt no remorse for killing. And in my arms, was my wife, Alice... the love of my life, the mother of my children...
"Alice..." I croaked as I caressed her cheek with my thumb. Blood continued to pour out of her wound while I tried my best to hold back tears.
"Levi," my wife lovingly called my name. "I-I'm not going to make it... You need to f-fight..."
"NO! What about you?! I need you, Alice, our children need you!!" I yelled, squeezing her hands in mine. "You can't leave us... I can't raise those two on my own, I need you, and they can't live without you, you're their mother, they'll miss you!"
My wife and I are members of the military and we have two children at home, one 16-year-old son and a little 7-year-old daughter. We didn't have to worry about finance, my family was incredibly wealthy and I inherited the family title when I turned 18, including a lot of our money.
But... cash and fancy titles don't complete a family... even with all our wealth, we've still lost something more important than money. Alice made me happier than anyone else could, and we eventually married and built our world, our amazing children. I vowed that I would be a good father and that I will be there for them no matter what. I would give them the world and will not treat them the way my own parents treated me.
As for Alice, she was a great mother. She would always put our kids first before herself. I can't lose her... there's no way I could ever raise those two on my own.
"Levi," Alice called my name. "You are an amazing father, you don't need me to raise our children to be amazing people. So please, promise me that even without me, you'll raise them to be good people so they can have a bright future, never give up or turn your back on them. Levi...I'm happy that I got to spend my life with you. I'm proud of the world we built together... I love you, and our children so much. Please tell them... that they mean everything to me. Take care of them..."
I took deep breaths as tears began pouring from Alice's eyes. She took off her wedding ring and gave it to me. "I know things wouldn’t be the same anymore. Sometimes changes can be hard to cope with, but in the end, we get through them regardless, and I know you're more than strong enough to keep on living... even without me. You have been a great husband and father Levi, you have to survive no matter what... promise me one more time, you will look after our children, please..."
I stayed silent for a moment before mustering up the strength to speak. "I promise."
Alice gave me her last smile before weakly saying her final words. "I love you, thank you... for everything..."
My wife took her last breath and closed her eyes, her heart finally came to a stop... I gritted my teeth and clenched my fist. I held back the tears as a familiar voice from my radio began talking. I ignored it, staring at my wife's dead body.
Eventually, I let out a loud, frustrated scream. I planted my fist on the ground as I continued screaming, mourning the death of my wife. After a while, I stopped and got on my knees. I slipped my hands under her body and lifted her as I stood on my feet.
I carried her lifeless body back to the place where my troop decided to meet once everything was over. It was hard to see from the fog scattered everywhere and I could barely move due to my injuries, but I knew that I had to keep going, I promised Alice that I would live no matter what.
I reached the meeting spot and all the survivors were already there.
"Levi there you are!" My older sister, Aiko, exclaimed. "You're alive!"
All my siblings participated in this war, and luckily all of us made it out alive. Because of the fog, they could only see my silhouette, so they probably didn't even notice the body I was carrying.
"Wait..." my older twin brother, Lee, said. "Where's Alice?"
Finally, I got out of the fog, revealing Alice's lifeless body in my hands. Everyone gasped while others just stared. Aiko and our two other sisters, Akito and Aimi, broke into tears, while Lee stood frozen on his spot with a distraught and sorrowful expression, possibly even denial.
While I… I just kept on walking to the car where we stored our casualties with an expressionless face. "A-Alice..." Aimi croaked as I carefully placed my wife's body in the car along with the others. Aiko fell to her knees and began sobbing, Akito hugged her but couldn't keep her tears from pouring. Aimi just stood there with a crushed expression, tears began falling from her eyes.
On the other hand, Lee looked down at the ground, hiding his face behind his bangs. "We're so sorry Levi..." Aimi sympathetically said and hugged my waist. I stayed silent, with only one thing in my mind, my kids.
"How..." I croaked as I gritted my teeth. "How am I going to tell them their mother is gone…?"
Lee approached me and squeezed both of my hands. "Levi, I'm sure they'll understand."
"What? Understand that it was my fault she got killed?!" I yelled. Aiko stood up and slapped me across my face, hard. The rest of our siblings was visibly shocked at what she did, while I was looking straight at her, disbelieving that she slapped me.
"DON'T say that," Aiko demanded and began violently shaking me. "DON'T SAY THAT YOU IDIOT! IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT! NONE OF US DECIDES WHO GETS TO LIVE!" Aiko screamed at my face.
"I SHOULD HAVE PROTECTED HER AND YET I FAILED!" I hung my head low in shame. My cheeks met her hands again, harder, leaving an obvious mark on my cheek. "AIKO STOP!" Akito yelled as she hurried over to our sister and stopped her from slapping me any further.
"STOP IT LEVI! SHE CHOSE TO BELIEVE IN YOU! NONE OF US WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO STOP HER DEATH FROM HAPPENING! WE'RE NOT GOD! WE DON'T GET TO CHOOSE ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO US!" She continued yelling as her tears began to flow even more. My siblings were very close to Alice. They thought of her as their OWN sister. They loved her the second I introduced them to her, so now that she's gone... nothing wouldl ever be the same anymore.
I stared at my wife’s cold dead body with a crushed expression before looking at the ground. "With Alice gone how... just how... how will I ever raise our children on my own…?"
They stayed silent, doing the same thing I was doing, and stared at the ground. The other soldiers around us left us alone and remained silent as well. The only sound we could hear was the hush of the wind along with the voices of other soldiers on our radios.
I could predict that this was what my mansion was going to sound like. Quiet. And the only source of sound are the voices of the personnel.
Nothing would ever be the same.
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