Published by: Kim Ashley Masagca
Date published: May 26, 2022
Time published: 4:00pm
Classification: Prose
Theme: Pregnancy
Synopsis: What will a sixteen-year-old girl do or think once she finds out that she is carrying a baby?
____
I felt my heart stop upon seeing the positive sign on the pregnancy test I had just taken. Sweat immediately dropped on my face as I felt my breathing quicken and my knees go weak.
I slammed my back against the door of the bathroom before slowly sliding down to the ground. My hand gripped the pregnancy test and took it again to make sure I wasn't seeing things.
"It's positive again..." I mumbled to myself. I then placed a hand on my stomach before swallowing a lump in my throat. "...I'm pregnant."
I didn't know what to do. I just sat there, pondering on what kind of future I will have with the baby that will either make my life better or the opposite and how my boyfriend would react to this news.
Will he get mad and demand I get an abortion?
I wasn't ready to become a mother. I wasn't ready to raise a child yet.
"What will I do...?"
I didn't know how to be a mother. I didn't even have one growing up. I was adopted by a priest when I was just a baby, and I never knew what happened to my real parents.
My father always told me to wait until I get married before I could finally get into bed with my partner. I didn't know what I was thinking when I was with my boyfriend.
I wasn't sure about my boyfriend, but my father will be so mad once he finds out that I'm pregnant…
But honestly, I was far more worried about this child inside of me than how the people around me would react. If I keep this child, what will their future be like?
Despite my worries at that moment, abortion was out of the question for me. It was mine and my boyfriend's fault the baby was inside me in the first place. The two of us weren't careful and it didn't feel right to affect this child's life because of it.
It just felt...wrong.
Never once in my life have I imagined that I won’t be pregnant at such an age as sixteen. I will be turning seventeen this winter, so I have two years left before I become an adult.
I remember when I was a child I wanted nothing more but to become a mum, but never at an age like this.
I'm sixteen. I have a whole life ahead of me. But am I truly willing to give that all up for the unborn child inside of me? I have to, right?
But is it a matter of wanting or the feeling of requirement?
No...I don't want to abort this child. I want to keep it. I've already lived long enough. I have a baby inside of me, so it is time for me to give my life to this child.
I know I'm young...I know I'm not ready to be a parent, but I don't want to get rid of this baby. I want to give it a future.
I don't care how my boyfriend or father will react. If my boyfriend wants me to get rid of this baby, then I suppose we are just not meant for each other, after all. But I'm not sure what I would do with my father.
But nonetheless. I am keeping this child. If things come to worse, then I'll find a way to provide for myself and my child on my own.
No comments:
Post a Comment