𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗔𝗥𝗬: "You're Losing Me" by Rhandel Galano

 

Published by: June Robert De Guzman

Date Published: June 2, 2023

Time Published: 11:10 AM

Category: Poetry

Theme: Cheating 

I wanted to punch you right in the mouth,

And that's the truth.

Am I allowed to say that?

When I hung my head at the base of your bathroom sink. 

Thinking,

"Can the fossil be surgically removed?

Or dissolved, or redesigned?"

So, that you can be a human being—like a woman.

"See, they cheat."

You said.

And no one covered up their faces out of shame.

It's traumatizing and unnecessary.

Are some things better left unsaid?

Shall I tell them your name?

And can I say it again?

That I wanted to punch you right in the face,

Until you say the truth!

But where the truth lies,

Is under your absence of love in my poetry.

It's under the flowers, butterflies, and knives,

You coated me with.

I didn't want to believe it;

I didn't want it to be true.

But why would you do it?

"No, you wouldn't,"

You're in love with me.

"No, you wouldn't,"

You saw a future with me.

You wouldn't do anything to hurt me.

But, apparently, you would.

Yet, when confronted—

You sat there in shock, caught red-handed.

You're healed, "so you can't be in pain."

Leaving me feeling dirty,

Touched with lies all over my body,

Feeling cheated on and alone.

So, forgive me for my change—but love me no less. 

Because I didn't look elsewhere,

So let that be on your chest.

But you poured salt in my wounds because of how you "felt,"

"See, they cheat."

You're a cheater!

Push me,

Slowly, with great gentleness.

Please clean the mess,

The mess of your love in my poetry.

For your love was uncertain;

But that's alright.

And it shall carry no burden.

And if I don't heal from this—that's alright.

"Trauma is not an excuse," right?

Just don't,

Forget everything we used to remember.

Perhaps use it to disappear completely—

like a medication.

When I've given you all, 

And now I'm nothing.

And as I die in our bed,

Our warm bed,

Our once-white bed.

I finally crack, and break down,

I collapsed.

"Broken beyond repair,"—it's so me.

Disconnected from everything 

Except what's expected;

Pain.

Poetically,

Tells instead of shows.

Those blossoms that once,

filled the air with sweet smells.

My pain is severe.

I am bleeding out as I cry;

Crying what is true.

And I took it all in

And it hurts to see your plight.

Just,

Eat me, and drink me, and peach me, and love me.

Skin and some broken bones and all.

Connect to me one last time;

Before you leave and go.

So, that I can be part of you.

Now,

Come, and see, and get.

Find me the right words,

The words that heal, mend and help,

And I'll save it for later.

The insecurities,

That was caused by your infidelity.

You were a God to me,

Through every web—

The Flowers of St. Francis.

Have it, own it, place it—underground.

So,

To the you who I loved,

You're losing me.