Published by: Rezy Jyn Veradio
Date Published: August 21, 2023
Time Published: 12:26 PM
Category: Prose
Subject: Anxiety, Introversion
I woke up early, earlier than what I’m used to. Arriving at the new school I chose, I pulled myself together as I walked through.
First day of school and I couldn’t believe it, as all I see are different students with their peers. That was fast, how did they do that? It looked easy, but I knew it would never be easy for me.
I smiled and kept walking. Everything was alright—but I realized all of these people were watching me. It was like their eyes were glued to my body. It worried me so much that it stole my grin.
"Are they looking at me because I'm alone? Oh, no! No... no! Are they talking about me? Are they judging me?" I didn’t know what to do so I started panicking. I had this thought of making friends as soon as I could, but now I can't. But still, I had to have friends so that I'm no different from the rest. I want to have friends—but it hurts because I can't.
I bowed my head and tried to ignore them, but then, I heard them laughing. They laughed louder and louder, and it felt never-ending. I began trembling, I felt like I was falling. I felt numb as they moved closer and closer to me. They were laughing too loud and it terrified me. I tried to find a way to escape, however, they were everywhere.
"Help!" I shouted, struggling. I couldn’t breathe, it felt like someone was sitting on my chest. I couldn’t take it any longer as my tears ran down my face.
But in a flash, it all turned black.
I woke up, wet from my sweat as my body was frantic despite being asleep. Looks like it was all a dream—but even in my sleep, my fear never disappears. How can I make friends? Do I really need them? Is it tough? I want to know, with this fear, will I ever exceed? If I ever do, will the heaviness go away?
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