𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗔𝗥𝗬 : “At the End of the Day, Darkness Always Falls" By Ashley Jhanelle G. Ramos

Layout by: Allysonkim Villanueva

Published by: Kristine Joyce Soriano 

Date Published: February 28, 2025 

Time Published: 10:47 AM

Category: Prose

Subject: Searching for light in the darkest of times.

"𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘯 𝘨𝘰 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱?"

That very question still lingers in my mind. Even now, as I sat alone in my room, feeling so trapped in the darkness that I despise so much. Where was the sun to give me light—hope when I need it most? The thought of past and coming failures, regrets, and disappointments presses heavily against my chest, dragging my heart into a deep, endless hole—a hole that seems to grow darker and deeper with every step I decide to take, slowly, threatening to swallow me whole.

𝘈 𝘴𝘰𝘧𝘵 𝘭𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳, "𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘯 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳, 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩," 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥, "𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥, 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘵."

𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘯𝘰𝘴𝘦. "𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘳. 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘵 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘧 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬."

Yet, amidst the suffocating presence of the dark, a sudden thought begins to form in my head. Perhaps the darkness I have loathed my entire life is, in some strange way, easier. No expectations to meet, No disappointments to endure—just the feeling of a suffocating blanket wrapping around me in fake comfort forgoing me to get up and search for the light that I'm not even sure existed.

"𝘉𝘶𝘵," 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥, "𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵, 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶?"

"𝘉𝘶𝘵, 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘐 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴? 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘐 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳?" 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘥, 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘴.

"𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬—𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘱 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘪𝘵." 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘪𝘯𝘨, "𝘓𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘵 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵, 𝘐 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘥𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘨𝘯𝘪𝘻𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘦𝘧𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭."

"𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦."

"𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺'𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘯, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘪𝘵 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘴."

I closed my eyes as the words of the girl echoes in my mind—my childhood best friend. Her words always used to make me feel like everything was gonna be okay, that no matter how dark life gets, there will always be light that follows. But now that she's not here with me anymore through my journey, there's no one beside me to guide me to the light, the light that I have longed for ever since she left.

"𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰 𝘮𝘰𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘬𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬! 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘮 𝘐 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯?" 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘨𝘶𝘦𝘥.

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘥, 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘨𝘢𝘻𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘴𝘬𝘺. "𝘑𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺'𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺'𝘷𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘥. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘥𝘴"

𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘸. "𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘐 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦'𝘴 𝘯𝘰 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘶𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬?"    

"𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘮𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘨𝘰 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵."  

My hands shake as I wrap my arms around myself. Maybe she was right, maybe the light that I have been searching for has been inside me all along. The memory of her voice lingers in my mind, even though she isn't here beside me anymore, her words still remain, guiding me forward.

Taking a deep breath, I stood up from my bed and walked to the window, finding a new feeling of hope deep inside me. As I open it, the night sky greets me—the darkness is still there but it no longer feels suffocating. The sun is nowhere in sight, there are no stars tonight, no moon to guide the way—but now I know better than to believe that all the light is gone.

I've spent all my life always waiting for something or someone to guide me, to pull me from the darkness. But I realize now that I don’t have to wait. I can be the one to take the first step, to guide me to the light.

With a quiet exhale, I turn away from the window. This time, I won’t let the darkness consume me.

This time, I will shine.

"𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘣𝘦 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺—𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘴 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘺. 𝘈𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺, 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘴, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦'𝘴 𝘯𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘶𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘱 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧, 𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶."

IMAGE SOURCE: 

Armstrong, H. (2024, October 22). Window Photoshoot. Pinterest. https://ph.pinterest.com/pin/101753272824519107/