Date Published: January 19, 2026
Time Published: 1:25 PM
Category : Prose
Subject : Adulting
I remember when I was a kid, the world was simple. I didn't care what money could buy, I only cared that the fifty-peso bill was red, and red was my favorite color. I thought life worked like the stories I saw on telenovelas, when a doctor touched your wound, it would vanish like magic. I believed that sleeping at noon would make me taller, that lies would make my nose grow like Pinocchio's, and that black ants were good while the red ones were evil.
Looking back now, I miss that version of me. The child who didn’t know yet how heavy life could get. I miss the innocence and freedom of not knowing how cruel the world can be. Back then, I laughed easily. I dreamed without fear.
But then I grew up. And growing up was nothing like I imagined. I thought growing up means having a lot of money to buy things you wanted. To have freedom, but I'm wrong.
When I became a teenager, things started to change. My parents were always working, so I had to learn to take care of myself. I had to take care of my little sister too. The house had to be clean, the chores had to be done, everything had to look fine by the time my parents got home. It was like childhood had been quietly taken from me, replaced with responsibilities I never asked for.
Before, I was so sure of who I wanted to be. I wanted to be a doctor, and in my head, that was the only future that existed. But now, I don't even know who I am. I don't know what I want, or what I’m meant to do. Life feels like a question I can't answer, no matter how hard I try. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever figure it out or if I'm destined to just keep guessing.
What makes it harder is watching everyone else. My classmates talk about their plans, their passions, their future careers with so much certainty. They look like they know where they're going, while I'm here, stuck and confused, pretending I have it together when I don't. Maybe I'm scared. Scared to choose what I really want, because what if it doesn't work out? What if passion won't put food on the table? What if I fail not just myself, but also my family?
That's when I started to understand what money really means. As a child, it was just colors and figures. Now, I see how it controls everything—your choices, your dreams, your entire life. It decides whether you chase what you love, or bury it under the weight of practicality. It decides whether you get to be free, or just survive.
And here I am, caught in the middle of it all. Between who I was, who I thought I’d be, and who I am now. I don't have the answers. I don't know what's next. I don't even know if I'll ever know.
And I wonder, will I make it through adulthood?
Will I ever have the strength to follow what my heart truly desires?
Will I manage to bear the burdens placed on me without falling apart?
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