𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗔𝗥𝗬: "A Role I Never Auditioned For" by Ashley Jhanelle G. Ramos

 

Published by: Athena Palatino 

Date Published: January 20, 2026

Time Published: 9:25 AM

Category: Prose

Theme: The pain of having to perform for others' approval while your own feelings remain unseen and unheard.

You see how my mouth curls up at your words, and that's all you need to know to continue on with your little show. You tell everyone about my every little mistakes like they're the highlight of the act, the spotlight hitting me without warning.

You don't even notice how my chest tightens with each word. I swallow it down, smile wider, and nod along as if your words are just harmless confetti falling around me—too afraid to admit that its slowly drowning me.

I try to take the mic one too many times, trying to explain my side, but alas, the volume is always too low to be heard. You always manage to get the audience to take your side. So what else can I do but nod, smile, laugh, and play the part you've written for me?

And when you finally think the show is over, when the audience has finally gone, the curtains fall and the lights dim—my head replays the lines that you've put in my mouth over and over again. Each line. Each laugh. Each smile.

Was it a harmless comedy act meant for me to laugh along with, or was it written so I'd stumble on cue while everyone else applauded?

No matter how hard I try to tell myself that I don't have to think about your lines, that I should just focus on mine, your laugh still echoes in my mind—a broken soundtrack to a scene I never wanted to perform in.

I keep replaying it all in the quiet, even when there's no audience left to impress. I try to convince myself it was nothing, wondering if I just misunderstood the tone, if I took it too seriously, if the joke was never meant to cut this deep.

I start question my own feelings, picking them apart like small scenes. Maybe I'm just too sensitive. Maybe the spotlight only felt harsh because I stood in it too long without speaking up.

But my chest still tightens, even as I try to reason it away, even as I tell myself that I'm making something out of nothing.

So I stay here, long after the show is over, doubting the pain I felt, wondering if the show was my fault for not speaking up loud enough or if they simply never cared enough to listen.

#Prose