LITERARY: "A Filipino Heart"

By: Immanuel Floyd Lim

Kenneth was a half-Filipino, half-American child. He grew up in New Jersey. When he was three years old, his dad left him and his mom, because his dad had another family in California. His mom was so devastated when she found out that her husband was supporting three kids in middle school and still in touch with his past wife, so she decided to split up with him and she never wanted to see him again. 

Kenneth then strived to support his mom when he was 15. They moved south to Florida, so he tried to work in several fast food chains, department stores, laundromats, and even collecting garbage. In the Philippines, most Filipinos think that life in America was “hassle-free”, but that was not that easy for a teenage kid like Kenneth. He always stayed until midnight just to finish his work, and when he finished his shifts, he goes home to do his homework. Still, he never forget the value of education and frequently endured to help his mom with their financial needs on an everyday basis. 

Sometimes Kenneth thought about his dad, but a deep hole inside his heart was etched with emptiness.  He realized that he missed a quarter of his life not being with his dad. He tried to call him on the phone, look for him on the net, and went to his previous home address. But he failed to find him. Before his 22nd birthday Kenneth wished to travel to his mom’s hometown in the Philippines, which was called “Sampaloc”. He asked his mom about what that meant, but his mom kept telling him… “That is just a place in the Philippines!”. He searched what “Sampaloc” meant in Google, and he discovered that the English term for it was tamarind, a pod-like fruit that contains an edible pulp used in cuisines around the world. But it turned out that it was a delicious, yet sour treat that Filipinos love. He laughed and said, “There’s no problem living in the Philippines! If you’re residing on a place which name is deeply loved by Filipinos!”  They arrived at the Philippines two days before his birthday, they took a taxi cab from NAIA, arriving in their compound. When Kenneth opened up the door of the taxi cab, he was immediately surrounded by many people, some of which he knew from the postcards they sent him, others were entirely new to him. He was like a superstar when he walked down the aisle. He saw people arranging tables and chairs, putting up lights and some of them were preparing a roasted pig called “lechon”. His mom accompanied him to their old house. The house was two stories. The first floor was entirely made of wooden style marble, the walls were painted with pastel yellow, and the whole room was accompanied by people singing in karaoke. He was quite entertained when his uncle, “Jose” offered him “balut”. 

Kenneth was a half-Filipino, half-American child. He grew up in New Jersey. When he was three years old, his dad left him and his mom, because his dad had another family in California. His mom was so devastated when she found out that her husband was supporting three kids in middle school and still in touch with his past wife, so she decided to split up with him and she never wanted to see him again. 

Kenneth then strived to support his mom when he was 15. They moved south to Florida, so he tried to work in several fast food chains, department stores, laundromats, and even collecting garbage. In the Philippines, most Filipinos think that life in America was “hassle-free”, but that was not that easy for a teenage kid like Kenneth. He always stayed until midnight just to finish his work, and when he finished his shifts, he goes home to do his homework. Still, he never forget the value of education and frequently endured to help his mom with their financial needs on an everyday basis. 

Sometimes Kenneth thought about his dad, but a deep hole inside his heart was etched with emptiness.  He realized that he missed a quarter of his life not being with his dad. He tried to call him on the phone, look for him on the net, and went to his previous home address. But he failed to find him. Before his 22nd birthday Kenneth wished to travel to his mom’s hometown in the Philippines, which was called “Sampaloc”. He asked his mom about what that meant, but his mom kept telling him… “That is just a place in the Philippines!”. He searched what “Sampaloc” meant in Google, and he discovered that the English term for it was tamarind, a pod-like fruit that contains an edible pulp used in cuisines around the world. But it turned out that it was a delicious, yet sour treat that Filipinos love. He laughed and said, “There’s no problem living in the Philippines! If you’re residing on a place which name is deeply loved by Filipinos!”  They arrived at the Philippines two days before his birthday, they took a taxi cab from NAIA, arriving in their compound. When Kenneth opened up the door of the taxi cab, he was immediately surrounded by many people, some of which he knew from the postcards they sent him, others were entirely new to him. He was like a superstar when he walked down the aisle. He saw people arranging tables and chairs, putting up lights and some of them were preparing a roasted pig called “lechon”. His mom accompanied him to their old house. The house was two stories. The first floor was entirely made of wooden style marble, the walls were painted with pastel yellow, and the whole room was accompanied by people singing in karaoke. He was quite entertained when his uncle, “Jose” offered him “balut”. 

He asked what that food was, he said to me “Ken, you just eat it nalang… This food is masarap”. Kenneth knew every word that his uncle just said, especially the word “masarap” which means “delicious”. Kenneth smiled and took the food, he was shocked that it was only an egg, he held it and cracked it open. At first, he didn’t expect what he saw, but still Kenneth then took it all like what his uncle urged him to do. Kenneth wasn’t very fond of the texture of it, a slimy yet savory taste. Then his uncle shouted “Sa wakas! Pilipino na ang pamangkin ko!”, Kenneth couldn’t stop laughing on what his uncle just said, They thought that it was a tradition if you eat a “balut” then you’re considered as a fully-pledged Filipino. The party started with everyone laughing, chatting about current events, gossiping about almost everything. His mom secretly cooked his favorite Filipino dish which was called “sinigang”. Kenneth was so surprised and touched when he found out what his mom just did. So to start the celebration process everyone offered him several amounts of cake, specifically “chocolate cakes” and even chocolate cupcakes. Kenneth even thanked his cousin for rendering him a song which she composed just for his birthday. The party lasted until midnight, when everyone was sleepy his mom and her siblings couldn’t stop singing on the karaoke, singing their favorite OPM songs from the 80’s.

A day before leaving, Kenneth spoke to his 65 year-old grandmother, even though they had never met before, he felt the presence of love cloaked when he met her. Then she discussed how she loved her mother so much, “Alam mo Kenneth, mahal na mahal ko ang nanay mo”, “Kung maari ko lang gawin na baguhin ang nakalipas, gagawin ko na iyon”. Kenneth was a bit confused on what his grandmother just said, because she mentioned that she would change the past just for his mom… But why? Then his grandmother continued to tell her story about her husband, “Iniwan din kasi kami ng Ama niya, pero sapat lang iyon sa akin dahil kasama namin siya”. Kenneth couldn’t resist crying on what his grandmother just said, because his mom had experienced what he is experiencing now, living without a father. After reminiscing moments of sadness and laughter from that past, Kenneth kissed her grandmother and said, “Lola, mahal na mahal ko po kayo!” by that his grandmother replied “I love you too Kenneth, ang aking gwapong apo!” Kenneth chuckled on how his grandmother joked about him being so handsome. They bid goodbyes, and Kenneth would treasure this moment forever. Back at Florida, Kenneth received a call from his dad, saying that he was left by her wife and took his kids with her. His dad was very devastated and was very confused. Kenneth could still remember the pain from the past, He didn’t continue to talk to him in the phone. Instead, he wanted to meet him in person.

 Upon meeting his dad at the café, he welcomed him with a deep and tender hug saying, “Dad, I love you so much” “I don’t care what happened in the past, but I forgive you, without you I wouldn’t be here and I know that you love me too”, His dad replied “I’m very sorry too Kenneth, I know what I did to you and your mom isn’t really to forgive, but still you forgave me and I regret all the things that I did and –“ Kenneth cut off his dad and replied… “Dad, the important thing is that you’re here, and I would love spending time with you and mom again!”