Thursday, September 23, 2021

LITERARY: "Dandelions" by Leyanne Caringal


Ber-months, cold nights, rainy days, coffee, music and books. Perfect combination for people like me. We all wanted to be alone, don’t we? But deep inside we always wished that someone would come our way and be lonely together. I always wished that someone would come. And I hope that that someone was him.

“I’ll just head out!” I shouted and went outside. It was already late but something was telling me to go out, and I did. I went to the nearest playground and sat on a swing. I fixed my sweater and plugged in my earphones. As I closed my eyes a familiar beat played. Dandelions.

I guess the universe wants me to get hurt.

I’ll just let it play. It was my favorite song after all. Well... not anymore. TikTok was right. Do not sing your favorite song to someone. Ha... I should have listened.

“Oh...you're here...”

I turned around and saw a familiar face. It was him. The one that I sang dandelions to.

“Ah, yes,” I answered. He walked towards me and sat beside me. Was it awkward silence? I don’t know... It was kind of comfortable. But I hope that he won’t talk to me. Please.

“How are you?”

Awit.

“I’m alright How about you?” I looked at him, smiling. He only nodded. I composed myself. I was about to stand up when he talked again.

“Sorry,” he said. I was taken aback. I took out my earphones and looked at him. “Okay lang.” Of course it’s okay. As always. “I told you. Stop saying sorry, didn’t I?” He gave me a faint smile.

It was silent, again. Not until my earphone unplugged itself on my cellphone.

“And I see forever in your eyes, I feel okay when I see you smile, smile.”

My eyes widened. I immediately paused the music. I looked at him. He was smiling.

“Dandelions, huh? Do you remember when I requested you to sing something...and that’s what you sang?”

Hah. “Of course, I remembered. You requested me to sing for you because we can’t talk the next day.” His smile vanished.

“We were bestfriends, right?” He asked.

Best Friend zone. I smiled. “Mhm, bestfriends.”

I suddenly remembered everything. Starting from the late-night talks, the chikas, the childish acts and of course the non stop bickering that made me... fall. Cliché, isn’t it? I told him not to fall for me and he told me the same. I thought it was easy... but no, it was me who fell. And I must say, the cliff was pretty deep.

We didn’t communicate after that so how did I fall? Then I realized, maybe I didn’t want to admit it at that time. Maybe I really did fall for him.

“Is it true?” He asked. “What is?”

“Twitter.”

Twitter? What did I tweet—oh. That tweet. Hah. I might or might not have confessed. “It is,” I answered without any hesitation. “But it’s wrong.” It is wrong. Remembering that he loves somebody else and I was there hoping that he’ll like me back. It was selfish of me, I know.

“Sorry.”

“Stop saying sorry. It wasn’t your fault.” It was mine. I tapped his back and smiled. “How are you two?” I asked. He gave me an ‘are you sure’ look. I nodded. “It’s okay.”

“We’re talking,” he said. A big smile formed in his lips.

He’s happy. Very happy. “I’m glad.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“No.” I can't. I sighed. “It’s getting late. We should head home,” I said as I got rid of the dust on my pants. I smiled at him and started walking away. I checked my phone and saw the time. I immediately turned my head to him. He was also looking at me.

“11:11,” we said in unison. We looked at each other and laughed.

“Be happy,” was the last words I said before going home. I slumped down on my bed. I looked at my phone and continued playing the song.

“Wishing on dandelions all of the time

Praying to God that one day you'll be mine

Wishing on dandelions all of the time, all of the time.”

Once again, I wished on Dandelions. But now, I wish for your happiness even if it’s not with me. Just like what the lyrics said... I feel okay when I see you smile... And that’s enough for me. I’m happy as long as you’re happy. I was your Dandelion, you said... Maybe I was. But she was the whole field.

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