LITERARY: "Maybe Love and Grief are Synonyms" by: Samantha Apalit

Isn't it amazing? 

(Isn't it dreadful?)

To have a piece of you in my pocket;

Your face, painted in pictures–smiling.

In a way, 

I can remember you like this. 

(In a way, 

I can miss you like this.) 

Isn't it beautiful? 

(Isn't it lonely?) 

To have snapshots of you in my mind.

For you to live in my head, 

In the form of memories,

And haunt me with the images of you;

Alive.

Breathing.

Happy.

It kills me, 

that you are ever so vivid in my mind. 

You appear so close, 

It's as if I can grasp you if I try hard enough. 

(I did. I can't.) 

You appear so warm, 

It's as if you're alive and next to me. 

(You aren't. You're gone.) 

Your soul is always with me.

You conquer my dreams,

My mind, my heart—

You’re here with me in every way

but living.

But maybe I've learned to love the pain it brings.

Maybe like this,

I bring you back to life. 

Maybe like this, 

I can carry you in my heart. 

Perhaps, that is love. 

(Perhaps, that is grief.) 

The smile on my face when I think of you. 

(The lump in my throat when I speak of you.) 

The light in my eyes when I reminisce about you. 

(The tears rolling down my face knowing that's all I'll ever be able to do now.) 

Perhaps, that is life. 

(Perhaps, that is you.) 

I miss you.