Published by: Heather Pasicolan
Date published: May 25, 2022
Time published: 11:36 AM
Theme: Identity Crisis, Finding oneself, Freedom
Synopsis: She had the chance to escape but she chose to stay. She had the will to end her suffering by simply rebelling, but she obeys. Where will her wings bring her, once she slips into one of the exposed corners? Is it the freedom from the rigid environment? Or another realm that brings a bigger mess?
To where does she even belong in the first place? The soaring mountains buried in trees? In an artificial “home” just to be displayed?
She had two choices. Freedom for her words to be valid, Hope for her voice to be heard.
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Birds were flying higher than a person's height. Wings flapping against the leafy branches reaching the blues in the sky, none of them seemed special. Each and everyone was the same, no different nor unique. Or so they thought. One was feeble, the other strong, one graceful, another stiff.
They alternate in features, same in goal. They want to live a free life for the next decades. Free of the man’s demands, power, and crazy plans. Do humans differ in needs? Don’t they also yearn for freedom too? We are no different from them.
Once, a flying specie got different colors of wings from the rest. Caught the vision of a deranged man, planned to catch it, and had no better ideas but to mess with it.
Food! Something the bird was searching for hours. The discoid eyes saw something from afar, except it was guarded... In a cage?
Thought for a bit, aware that it would bring her to a new place. Unfamiliar, disturbing, and uncomfortable.
Without any hesitation, she flew towards it. Still unsure whether it’s worth it, and at the same time regretting.
As a result, her curiosity brought her to a whole new place. It was nothing like her wide home.
She was lost.
She doesn’t know what or even, who to defend anymore. Is it her right? The ego that makes her feel everything will be alright? Her friend asked.
“There’s nothing to defend, really. Everything’s already computed. None is mistaken to be corrected, None too much to be decreased. Besides, it’s still my fault even if I insist.”
“There’s no one to be the blame, either way, it’s my inconvenience that brought me to this situation.”
Her mouth could only blurt out nonsense, she knew she doesn’t deserve it. That she’s really deserving to receive a decent response. Coming from everything her ears could receive, she forgot that she had herself, her own opinions and beliefs, one thing she needed to protect.
Too much of the media influenced her; every act of her own, calculated, contrasting the opinion of the many. Just to avoid their mortifying comments.
Words coming from the unknown shouted to her sensitive ears, she had nothing to complain about due to her “irresponsible” acts. Irresponsible acts due to the toxic nature she’s in.
From then she was held captive. Controlled by a selfless soul with no plans of breaking free. Locked in an open yet protected cell. Bars forged from fear, strengthened by agony.
Similar to the bird, she fed herself with the same type of food. Every day became the usual, same set of routines except for some hours she occupied herself with harm.
Does she need to suffer in order to attain the awaited freedom? But those promises were never really meant to be reached.
Words reach out from the open bars, pleading to be heard by no one other than her. She mourns for the past, wanting for it to come back.
All these experiences of torture; she wants to escape. Wanted to be saved, and wanted to be healed. Now she realized what she truly missed.
She happened to want herself back, remembering some kind of stranger she once encountered in one of her journeys. Can recall a bit about that certain someone but not a vivid memory flashed before her eyes.
She knew who that person was, by name, by age, by likes and dislikes but never by the voice that continued to whisper inside that she already lost to someone who already found her.
Every plan that she’s done never gave her the freedom and the person she used to be. Finding herself in the place she’s already familiar with made no change; still lost.
All the opinions she had collected wanted to break the bars she hardened. Phrases and sentences that have their own meaning, still waiting for someone to listen.
Once, the man heard her complaints. Sat and listened but suddenly got ignored and most of all, went farther away, leaving her in shame.
All this time, she had been the deranged person and the bird herself. From the things she had done, her own identity got lost. Controlled and manipulated by an unorthodox individual which is also she; from the start, she was already lost in captivity.
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