Thursday, October 14, 2021

LITERARY: " Midnight Goodbyes" by Airah Nazhyna

 The misery in spheres had made a tremendous difference in her life to change everything about her perspective on all of the things in this world. A moment's clip of her wandering alone in every amazing place she wanted to be, she fled away with all the memories she had in her pocket of reminiscence that caused her a sweet sounding breath of the wind touching her bare hands while the leaves had fallen on the bitterness of its tree.

She saw a different soul inside of her and an expression with her face where all the broken lies decayed within. The unsaid thoughts and things were better left unsaid; the only thing that mattered to her was to pass it over silence and years, and assume that she would be okay without anything. Days, weeks, and years had passed since she made up her mind to leave everything behind, but not even a single day she didn't think about how it would affect her own life if she stayed in the darkness. She couldn't handle it with her own hands when she had her first day in that place. The sun kept a breathtaking scenario but just like the people, they couldn't be brought back with their shine when the darkness came off and blew a disturbance in their own life. So, she decided to close her eyes and pretended that it didn't affect her every time she suffered from something.

She was alive because of her parents, but it was not always the happy family every single person thought it was; challenges, misunderstandings, hindrances and some things that cannot be explained by actions. She wanted to get rid of the word “existence'' in her vocabulary in life—she wanted to do some things that she didn't even know if it was right or wrong, but she was frustrated. Yet, she couldn't think of any solutions on how she would do it or where she would start. They took away her happiness and self trust. They removed herself from within, they took her... away. And now, she was left alone to put all those pieces back to herself.

"It's strange, isn't it?" The pillow beside her spoke as it chuckled.

"You didn't want to stay in the door of darkness yet you let yourself be there for a long time. At least here, you have your purpose. You kept us alive." The wall spoke.

"I don't have any idea on where I should start. I didn't even know if it'll help me or if it'll be a success in the future." She answered.

In the room that was full of darkness, the friends who were there to guide her in terms of need, was the wall, the windows, the bed, the pillows, the cabinet, the table and the chair. Only those things insisted to be her friend in that dark room. Because who would want to enter such a dark place where there was no endgame? She suffered enough to endure all the pain and uncertainties in her life. But then, the time has come and she strove in every possible way she could. That was the reason why she decided to look out for the light that will guide her out of the prison. Moreover, she decided to come out of the darkroom.

Unfortunately, that room was her mind and her so-called 'friends' were the monsters who were living there since she met darkness. She decided to open her soul for the better after she realized that she didn't deserve anything of those things, even darkness itself. And as she closed her eyes, the moment she woke up, she realized it was all in her head... and that made her be a prisoner in her own mind.

As the months bypassed, she started to value herself more. She also became the better version of herself, not for the other people but for her own sake. Whenever she felt sad, she always had a backup plan on how she would make it fade away; when problems came on her way she was well aware of how to handle them, when some things went wrong she would also know how to solve them.

Because all she knew, at the end of the day, she was gonna be in her graveyard and nobody would remember anything that she did. So, she lived her life to the fullest, she made herself happy, she also did some things that would make her feel the contentment in life. She started to value her feelings, emotions and her own decisions. She found her true love that gave her a tale of a thousand stars, a story that they wrote with their own hands of love and sincerity, and until the day they both fell ill, she didn't leave her loved ones. Until they died together.

But...all of that was written in her diary, because they both passed away 5 years ago at the same time and date.

"Goodbyes are not eternal. Also ain't the end. It just simply means that they will longingly remember each other until they meet again."


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